[ColinC1988]

LIGHTS Addiction Syndrome (LAS) is a highly contagious psychological disorder characterized by inability to stop listening to LIGHTS' music and visiting her myriad of Internet outlets to read all of her blogs, watch all of her videos, and any other similar activity.

Origins
The original vector of LAS is Jeremy the Bug (JtB) (Source: Written confession in this thread). Insertion of the LAS-causing gene into JtB's genome is likely to be a result of his tireless efforts on the behalf of the LIGHTS team.

Causes
The precise cause of LAS is unknown. It has been postulated that prolonged exposure to LIGHTS' deeply moving songs and lyrics directly targets the patient's pleasure centre in the brain (Poxleitner et al. 2009). Conversely, others have theorized that the down-to-earth and free-spirited personality of LIGHTS as the main cause of LAS (TarantuLance et al. 2009). In either case, any exposure to LIGHTS-related content puts uninfected individuals at high risk to contracting LAS. Carriers of LAS are able to modulate their resistance to a certain degree, thereby making them ideal agents of proliferation (Kotanen 2009). Intercalation of the LAS-causing gene into the patient's DNA before symptoms present suggests a rapid and efficient method of transmission. The disorder is unique in that it is both physical and psychological.

Diagnosis
Patients with LAS exhibit a variety of symptoms. Some common symptoms include (but are not limited to):
i) Greatly reduced stress levels while listening to any song by LIGHTS
ii) A general feeling of helplessness while attempting to turn off a LIGHTS song
iii) Involuntary smiling during each of LIGHTS' interviews
iv) Inability to not feel good after reading/watching a LIGHTS blog/vlog
v) Melting of heart every time LIGHTS laughs
vi) Absolute loss of inhibition to change the world for the better (nblsavage et al. 2009)
vii) Episodes of uncontrollable love and/or goodwill towards others (Jinn 2009)
viii) Insatiable desire to go to every LIGHTS show within 20.3 light years (192,000,000,000,000 km) (Jeremy the LAS-transmitting Bug and Kayla 2009)
ix) A sense of disorientation and pure unadulterated awesomeness as a result of seeing and/or meeting LIGHTS (Marc with a C et al. 2009)
x) Impulsive tendencies to buy official LIGHTS merch

It has been found that the latter symptom is susceptible to a 10000% increase in likelihood following a LIGHTS concert, meeting with LIGHTS, or other similar life-altering events by (Mike2025 et al. 2009).

Prognosis
LAS is not life-threatening and generally not disabling, but it may be persistent enough to cause prolonged states of euphoria that are sometimes accompanied by bouts of excessive creativity. There is some degree of contagiousness associated with LAS that is amplified in the presence of other LAS patients. LAS is unique in that it does not require physical contact with other affected patients in order to propagate itself. Any LIGHTS-related auditory or visual stimulus can trigger the onset of LAS, whether it be sent physically or virtually (nblsavage et al. 2009). It is still unclear as to the effects of the altered DNA of individuals with LAS. Relapse rates of the disorder are incredibly high and total recovery is highly unlikely. Fortunately there is no cure, and the effects will continue for the lifetime of the patient. Conventional therapy involves desensitization via overexposure to LIGHTS. However, short-term studies have shown that this form of treatment increases the intensity of the patient's symptoms and no such patient who has undergone such therapy has ever recovered from LAS (treatment not recommended by the Surgeon General).

Disclaimer: This disorder is not yet recognized by the World Health Organization

Edits: Always revising in light of new research.

[~Andrew]

I have it :X

[Mike]

Oh gawd I have it too. I need help.


....Actually nevermind I don't want help

[Marc with a C]

I've got a fever...and the only prescription is more LIGHTS!

[ColinC1988]

If you know anyone who doesn't have LAS, be sure to give it to them!!

[newbanZo]

Marc with a C, on 15 December 2009 - 08:03 PM, said:

I've got a fever...and the only prescription is more LIGHTS!

Win

[nblsavage]

ColinC1988, on 15 December 2009 - 07:50 PM, said:

Fortunately there is no cure, and the effects will continue for the lifetime of the patient.

Works for me A lifetime of LIGHTS exposure is a wonderful thing to look forward to.

Brilliant post!

[Jhunter]

I definitely have it.

[CandyCorn]

ColinC1988, on 15 December 2009 - 08:05 PM, said:

If you know anyone who doesn't have LAS, be sure to give it to them!!

Haha, you gotta spread the love! ;D

[Mike2025]

YES! Now I have a name for my disease! Thank you! Next time people ask what's wrong with me, I'll just tell them I'll have LAS.

Hopefully in a few years, the syndrome will be well recognized and I'll be able to claim health benefits from it. (Free tickets)

[lamasarecool101]

i whent to my doctor after reading this nd he said tht i have it for sure........YEAH BOI!

[crys]

Is a new syndrome that the doctors have now recognized ... i have also been diagnosed with it

[poisonapple]

i've been diagnosed.

[Sleightful]

I quite enjoy my prolonged periods of euphoria.

[DaniMaree]

I'm glad it's not life threatening, we'd have an epidemic on our hands.
Lights could probably just heal us with her superpowers though. I wouldn't put it past her.

[SPrestonESQ]

30 Lights tracks on the iPod def make my days go by with a smile!

[ColinC1988]

There's so much I wanted to add, but I didn't want it to become a wall of text
I hope it comes off as semi-professional (too much physiology numbs my brain) and entertaining ^^;

[Liery Fights]

Marc with a C, on 15 December 2009 - 08:03 PM, said:

I've got a fever...and the only prescription is more LIGHTS!

You have won.

[FuzzyWatermelons]

I always knew I had it

[faisaltastic]

i've been suffering hardcorely ever since her concert i saw.
that post = my life put into a disease